Cliffs?After Mick O'Hara retired, his wife insisted that he accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, like most men, Mick found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunate, Mick's wife like most women loved to browse & left him with endless time to fulfill.
Yesterday Mick's wife received the following letter, from the local Wal-Mart
Dear Mrs O'Hara,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. O'Hara are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
5. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
6. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
7. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
8. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?
And last, but not least:
9. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'
One of the clerks passed out.
Back in Kerry, in a bar over pints of Guinness, Paddy was overheard educating his friend Mick on the vital difference between Email and Gmail. He said Email is when you use Electricity to send mail while Gmail is when you use Generator to send mail to the approving nods of the other patrons there.
We are still struggling to catch our breath...